Adulting. As much as I would like to say I coined the word and that I am a clever visionary that has verbed a noun, this is actually the title of a book I purchased about a year ago by Kelly Williams Brown at Barnes and Noble. It is about how to become an adult. Muy importante…Why would I not pick it up?! As an added bonus, the cover was a photograph of a girl on her sofa with her cat, like, “Hey, I’m sure you relate”. I gave in a bought the book so that it may fill me with wisdom.
In truth, I ended up putting my new book on my window sill next to the A/C for weeks and after a nice, warm, rainy summer afternoon, I proposed to cuddle up with my new guide only to find my guide was completely soaked and ruined. So much for my new read. I spread it on the stove and it managed to dry a week later. THEN I read it, and shared it with a friend who was in more of a position to own it at the time. Turns out the book was chock full of advice from paying credit card bills, to filing tax returns, and buying toilet paper in bulk from Costco. What I learned in that chapter: don’t worry, the checkout clerk will NOT think you must use the bathroom A LOT. You go ahead and buy that triple ply!
What I was getting at was that our definitions of adulthood or success vary, but, every move we make towards personal happiness is a giant leap of grandeur. We are allowed to relish in our actions as we manage our lives.
Per the BuzzFeed phenomena, here is a list, because we LOVE lists. These are a few things that have made me feel all grown-up in recent weeks:
- Got a job: Frankly, if you don’t have a job, you are not a member of society. You really have no say in discussing taxes, money, hobbies, social complaints, etc. Why? You do not contribute. I went through a long year and a half of unemployment powerfully fueled by procrastination, some pageantry, occasional travel, and fear. Eventually, I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror – I acknowledged I was lucky to be at home, to live with my parents, to not need to work! Then I took a closer look, who did I want to become and what were my goals? What did my complacency say about me as a person?
- Established credit: You will need it some day! I was now in the position to take ownership of my personal economic value. Creating a Credit Karma account made me feel exceptionally grand.
- Buying work clothes: Buy items of value, if you have to start of slowly do so. At first it may seem like buying larger amounts of clothing for cheaper is the way to go, and surely not everything has to be of the highest value. However, one thing I learned from my mother is that classic never go out of style – it is an investment and it will make you feel fantastic! You know the saying, “dress for the job you want, not the one you have”.
- Corsets and Thigh Highs: I wanted to bring some sexy into my life! Enter my fascination with corsets, girdles with garters and thigh highs. Ladies, if you have not tried this neat contraption, I suggest you keep an open mind and not be instantly turned off with thoughts of Kardashian wait trainers and studies on the effects of Victorian corsets. I am not suggesting you squeeze yourself to the point of fainting or doing damage, but there is nothing wrong with a little slimming of the tummy and waist definition. Rago brand corselet? Voila. Perfection from all angles! Just think, on an average day you could be a walking fetish rocking a sly smile and stepping lightly. For practical reasons, I also suggest investing in good thigh highs. If you sit all day, like I do, it can start to get a bit warm and sweaty with no room to breathe where it counts. Feel the freedom!
- Dating/Relationship: This one is tricky…as they say, “I don’t need no man” – for sure. But as one who feels the need to be latched into monogamy (no shame), dating has been a learning experience. When my last love came to an end, I felt lost. Without timidity of saying it now, I was unsure if any other man would ever find me as desirable as he did. Key word: Uncertain. I was unsure of the kind of man I was even looking for, and moreover, I feared that my ability to love to that extent had been permanently eradicated. Regardless of my fears and doubts, I started to date with an open mind – I was willing to hear what other men had to say, meet new people in general, discover new places. Slowly began the shedding of that heaviness that had covered me for several years. It ended up being a blessing in disguise. Today I find myself in a relationship with a man I love, whom I admire, and encourages me to keep being myself and not forget my identity. It was intimidating to find him so sure of himself – it forced me to become sure of myself. Did I mention he was tall?
Transition is all about keeping an eye on the future and your mind on the present, they will call out to each other and communicate without interruption of your aim. Do you believe in manifestation? When you believe and you summon the good into your life, there is a natural progression of happiness that builds off the previous action. Sure, I feel more adult than I did a year ago, but there is more to grow; the take away here is that perhaps adulting is more about taking ownership of your life rather than building credit and wearing body-shaping wear. Adulting comes from making decisions to actively improve upon any aspect of your life.
What mountains have you climbed in your life?
Categories: Humble Pie