There is something irresistible about astrology-the signs, the stars, the planets, and the connections among them creating specific characteristics and determining the fate of our lives. I am a woman in love with the stars. Do you know that cheesy pick up line? “What’s your sign?” You can be sure its been exhausted by my use, followed by my subsequent analysis upon response. It became my first date go to “get to know you” approach.
I am a Virgo, a tenacious/stubborn one at that. I am prone to over thinking and analyzing details to the point of complete dissatisfaction or hilarity. I love that I am a Virgo, I get to believe in my superiority in all situations, assume that I am correct; I assist others to the best of my abilities and have become a covert operator when it comes to saving face. However, the characteristic of “analysis” does not exclude my own actions. So why mention this?
In a recent discussion, I was chastised for criticizing the”faults” of others. The word annoyed me, faults, as if pointing out a physical shortcoming. Unfortunately, this was not the first time I had been censured for my comments. Am I allowed to use the Virgo get out of jail card?
I felt some heat swelling up in my throat and chest, the build up of boiling back talk rising up then swallowed. A former self would have delivered a quick response sharpened with a cutting remark – anything to bring the other person back down to level and establish my authority. Yet, I said nothing, rather I silently looked away and grabbed the freshly baked pastel de nata that sat on the nearby counter top to stifle my words. Note attempt to take the high road.
In typical Virgo fashion, I took to pen and paper to make my list of thoughts.
LET IT OUT:
- I am critical of myself above all. That which I tend to notice in others, is merely a reflection of things I hold in high personal esteem.
- Why only do we attack those we love?
- Perfection is my goal. Each day I realize it is unattainable and the best route to take is that of personal growth and self fulfillment, but the sting of desiring perfection seems to be the motivator for my well exercised tongue.
- My parents of critical of me – “your best” really meant “the best”. Best efforts were not celebrated.
- Are Virgos mean-spirited in general?
- Fear of submission turns into reactions of aggression.
Realization: There is a conflict between fear/meekness and haughtiness/confidence that results in internal turmoil and, on occasion, external severity. Therefore, I turn back to my sign for comfort but not for reliance – Virgo is an earth sign – imagine the tree. I picture a solid trunk with roots deep in the ground, an image of stability and control as much as it is fluidity and unperturbed resilience. To a certain extent, we can all be cut down and regrow from our roots, but in reality there are limited second chances and impossible do-overs. I realize, that while I hop to lean on my stubbornness, “ain’t nobody got time for that!”. There simply is not enough time in the world to waste on negativity, on self-hate, self-doubt, and much less to worry about others quote “messing up” according to our views.
Virgos, I know this is hard for us, but don’t think me a traitor, rather know my thoughts come from confrontation followed by more confrontation. While I have the energy to keep fighting, after some time, can it be possible that there is a personal fault we have not addressed? What are my options – shrug it off and roll up the thigh highs or reach for the fork and have a slice of pie.
Comment below: Thigh Highs or Slice of Pie
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Categories: Humble Pie